Tuesday, May 7, 2013
What does The Mommies Network Mean to You?
Every morning, I do the same thing. I get my cup of coffee while I make breakfast for the kid. I gather the clothes together, making a small pile on the sofa next to me- awaiting the completion of whatever cereal or breakfast bar is being consumed by the little one in the kitchen. I sip my coffee and grab my phone, and I log into my chapter of The Mommies Network. I click " View Your Posts" to see if there have been any responses to my latest musings. Then, I go onto The Mommy Forum, then Relationships,usually heading to the conversations that have the most appeal...the ones with the most posts! Maybe take a timeout to get the kid dressed. Then onto my area group, then my support groups. Then I swing over to my Facebook, then my Twitter, then back to my chapter of The Mommies Network to see the newest posts. I do this about 20 or 30 times a day...rinse and repeat.
Occasionally, I will get particularly attached to a post...be it my own or someone elses. Then, I might check in 40 or 50 times a day ( thank God for smartphones!). Every now and then I'll be a part of a conversation that is gaining traction...bunches of posts, and my heart is lifted with each page of conversation that is added...one page...two pages...five pages! It's like Christmas morning every time I open a page....a slight joy to see what has been added.
Sometimes, it's fluff...a coupon I found or looking for new homeowners insurance. Sometimes it's personal...an issue with my Mother-in-Law or a behavioral issue with my little one. Sometimes it's topical...a news piece or an article I found. But each time, it is the same feeling. I am a part of something- a community that shares something special and something unique. How many times have you done this? Now, I need to think about what that MEANS to me. I knew early on that it meant a great deal to me; it meant that I was a part of a network of women who took on their identity as a Mommy, and took it to another level. I knew that becoming a mother forced me to re-identify who I was as a person, because I was forever changed by the little wonder that appeared in my life. But being a part of The Mommies Network took it to a new level. It allowed me to take the new me.- the mother me- and USE it. By using it, I became a Mommy. I used all of those tools that came with motherhood and I applied them. My words became softer, my ideas became firmer, and my passions shifted from what was good for me to what was good for the world I was creating for my child. Along the way, I have met mothers who are very different than me. I have encountered people that I would have never counted as my friends in my life before motherhood. However, I can now see them for what they are ... exactly like me. Their ideas might be different, and their style may be different, but their reasons and their execution is cornered in exactly the same place as mine. Everything they do is the result of their love for their children. They, too, have been forever changed by becoming a mother, and they are on the same journey as me, figuring out how to apply this unique relationship to how they relate to the world.
So, when I think about The Mommies Network, I need to think about what it is to me, and the solution becomes so simple. The Mommies Network gave me to the place to FIND all of these things. It was the platform, the medium, the safe space where I was able to make the most of the new me. The value in that is not simple to measure, but it is clear to me that I have to find a way to measure it, and give back in turn. There are so many ways to give back, and if you are like me, you want to give back to someone else what you have received. This network does not exist on it's own. It takes time and energy and money and resources. There are opportunities to give back at every turn. You can donate time, you can donate resources, you can sponsor, you can donate money, you can be a part of the events, or you can just show up to witness the efforts of others who have given back. All of these things expand the network. They make it available to more and more women who are just like you. As we work together, we make the number of mothers in our network larger and larger, and we are able to do more and more to make the world a better place for our children.
I encourage everyone to look at themselves as a Mommy, and think about what it means to you. Right now, The Mommies Network is holding their annual May is for Mother's campaign to help meet the monetary demands of running the network. If being a Mommy has value to you, match it with a donation. However, there are other ways you can contribute. There are volunteer positions available both at The Mommies Network and at the Chapter level. Consider donating your time to this worthy cause. If you are a business owner, consider sponsorship with The Mommies Network as a way to give back to these communities and engage with the membership. But, most of all, see your identity as a Mommy as something that makes you a part of something special, and embrace what that means to you! Because there are a million ways to mother ... and one network for us all.
Sometimes, it's fluff...a coupon I found or looking for new homeowners insurance. Sometimes it's personal...an issue with my Mother-in-Law or a behavioral issue with my little one. Sometimes it's topical...a news piece or an article I found. But each time, it is the same feeling. I am a part of something- a community that shares something special and something unique. How many times have you done this? Now, I need to think about what that MEANS to me. I knew early on that it meant a great deal to me; it meant that I was a part of a network of women who took on their identity as a Mommy, and took it to another level. I knew that becoming a mother forced me to re-identify who I was as a person, because I was forever changed by the little wonder that appeared in my life. But being a part of The Mommies Network took it to a new level. It allowed me to take the new me.- the mother me- and USE it. By using it, I became a Mommy. I used all of those tools that came with motherhood and I applied them. My words became softer, my ideas became firmer, and my passions shifted from what was good for me to what was good for the world I was creating for my child. Along the way, I have met mothers who are very different than me. I have encountered people that I would have never counted as my friends in my life before motherhood. However, I can now see them for what they are ... exactly like me. Their ideas might be different, and their style may be different, but their reasons and their execution is cornered in exactly the same place as mine. Everything they do is the result of their love for their children. They, too, have been forever changed by becoming a mother, and they are on the same journey as me, figuring out how to apply this unique relationship to how they relate to the world.
So, when I think about The Mommies Network, I need to think about what it is to me, and the solution becomes so simple. The Mommies Network gave me to the place to FIND all of these things. It was the platform, the medium, the safe space where I was able to make the most of the new me. The value in that is not simple to measure, but it is clear to me that I have to find a way to measure it, and give back in turn. There are so many ways to give back, and if you are like me, you want to give back to someone else what you have received. This network does not exist on it's own. It takes time and energy and money and resources. There are opportunities to give back at every turn. You can donate time, you can donate resources, you can sponsor, you can donate money, you can be a part of the events, or you can just show up to witness the efforts of others who have given back. All of these things expand the network. They make it available to more and more women who are just like you. As we work together, we make the number of mothers in our network larger and larger, and we are able to do more and more to make the world a better place for our children.
I encourage everyone to look at themselves as a Mommy, and think about what it means to you. Right now, The Mommies Network is holding their annual May is for Mother's campaign to help meet the monetary demands of running the network. If being a Mommy has value to you, match it with a donation. However, there are other ways you can contribute. There are volunteer positions available both at The Mommies Network and at the Chapter level. Consider donating your time to this worthy cause. If you are a business owner, consider sponsorship with The Mommies Network as a way to give back to these communities and engage with the membership. But, most of all, see your identity as a Mommy as something that makes you a part of something special, and embrace what that means to you! Because there are a million ways to mother ... and one network for us all.
Friday, May 3, 2013
A Word From Our President #mommiesnetwork
Heather Fortune: Founder and President of The Mommies Network
Greetings to our wonderful members!
As we march into May, I'd like to take a moment and wish each of you a Happy Mother's Day. So often, we as moms don't get the regular pat on the back for our hard work that other jobs offer. Our "rewards" are not found in a paycheck, but in the first smile of our beautiful baby, or the toddling steps of our two-year old, or the extra-long hug from our teenager. Moms are built to see the beauty where no one else can, to see the benefit of years of investment of time and love and energy, to see that growth can occur in many ways, and often when least expected.
This ability to see beyond what is there is something I believe we are granted when we become mothers – so that we can see potential in our children from the moment they are born, so that we can love this little helpless baby and know what greatness we hold in our arms.
When I started CharlotteMommies eleven years ago, I felt like this wonderful quality we share as mothers could be the key to changing how our communities work – and how we care for each other. We can see what is not yet there – we can love before the person has really done anything worthy of love – we can care even though the one we care for doesn't acknowledge or even appreciate our love.
If we can do this for our children, why can't we do this for each other? Why can't we seek the good in each other, and assume, at the foundation, that each of us has this gift – this "power" to see the potential of others and encourage each other to reach that potential.
Through the years, we have tried many ways to spread this message – to provide a place where mothers from all walks of life, from all backgrounds and beliefs, can come together and find the things they share in common – to support and care for each other, simply because we share this common bond. It's been a work in progress and amid our many successes, we have also suffered many failures. In each failure, we choose to use our "superpower" to continue to focus on the potential – to rise to the challenge and find a new way to meet our goal and truly connect mothers together.
In 2013, we've challenged ourselves and our members to end the Mommy Wars – but we can't do that by choosing sides or ignoring that the war exists.
Instead, let's join together to talk about these issues that divide us as moms. Let's learn to discuss our ways of doing things without fear of judgment. Let's understand that its okay that there are different ways to do the same thing – and that choosing one doesn't make the other choices bad or wrong. It simply makes them right for you, in your situation.
We are challenging ourselves and our members to put ourselves in the shoes of others and really begin to understand the person behind the feelings – understand that our choices do not define us – but our love for our children certainly can unite us.
We can end the Mommy Wars simply by choosing to use our mommy "superpower" and seeing the good in each other – seeing the positive potential in each mom in our network, seeing how her being exactly the way she is benefits you and the others in your community.
If we can strive to see each other the way we see our children – as individuals who are constantly growing and learning as we travel through our lives – and challenge ourselves to care for each other regardless of what comes back – think of the accomplishments we can achieve and the positive impact we can make in our own lives, in the lives of our fellow moms and in the communities where we live.
The Mommies Network is committed to ending The Mommy Wars and providing a safe, secure FREE way for moms to network together, find support and friendship from one another and encourage each other to grow and learn as women, as mothers and as community leaders. Each dollar donated to TMN goes directly into providing improved technical services and new programs for our chapters and their members.
Would you join us in bringing peace to the Mommy Wars in 2013? Your donation can make a difference and help us reach more mothers across the country.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013
What Does Real Support Look Like?
Across the country, we have been proud to provide support to mothers from all walks of life for the last 11 years. But, as time has gone by, we have seen a shift in the dynamics between mothers and we have seen a divide that the media has dubbed "The Mommy Wars."
When The Mommies Network was founded, we saw that mothers have a unique bond- a shared strength from loving for our children. We identified that the characteristics of being a mother- the passion, the sacrifice, the deep conviction of providing to our children a better world- all of these things were also aspects that could create a community of women who could make the world a better place.
However, in order to make these communities, we have to overcome the hurdles of the "Mommy Wars." We need to come back to our place of support, and see that how we parent is not nearly as important as our love for our children. What divides us is weaker than what unites us.
Supporting mothers does not always look like what you think it might. But, to us, supporting mothers means ...
providing a place for them to feel safe...
giving them a free corner of the world where they can find other mothers who have been where they have been....
giving them a community where they can be themselves..
providing these things to mothers we don't always agree with...
we stop defining ourselves, and each other, as being different, and instead we unite under the idea that the diversity of our members makes us stronger.
We serve over 30,000 women in our mission to provide a safe and FREE place to find support and encouragement, advice and friendship.
Your donation to The Mommies Network provides us with the means to unite mothers from across the country and to provide a real network of support. Help us end "The Mommy Wars" by making a donation in honor of a mother who may not be like you, but is part of the community of moms that makes your world a better place.
When The Mommies Network was founded, we saw that mothers have a unique bond- a shared strength from loving for our children. We identified that the characteristics of being a mother- the passion, the sacrifice, the deep conviction of providing to our children a better world- all of these things were also aspects that could create a community of women who could make the world a better place.
However, in order to make these communities, we have to overcome the hurdles of the "Mommy Wars." We need to come back to our place of support, and see that how we parent is not nearly as important as our love for our children. What divides us is weaker than what unites us.
Supporting mothers does not always look like what you think it might. But, to us, supporting mothers means ...
providing a place for them to feel safe...
giving them a free corner of the world where they can find other mothers who have been where they have been....
giving them a community where they can be themselves..
providing these things to mothers we don't always agree with...
we stop defining ourselves, and each other, as being different, and instead we unite under the idea that the diversity of our members makes us stronger.
We serve over 30,000 women in our mission to provide a safe and FREE place to find support and encouragement, advice and friendship.
Your donation to The Mommies Network provides us with the means to unite mothers from across the country and to provide a real network of support. Help us end "The Mommy Wars" by making a donation in honor of a mother who may not be like you, but is part of the community of moms that makes your world a better place.
Monday, April 22, 2013
jumblzar
Are you a mom who likes to buy and sell your used kids gear or who enjoys the consignment sales? Check out our new partner, jumblzar -- an invitation-only buy/sell platform for moms. Only available for moms in established "Mommy Communities" like ours, you interact with other moms, just like you, ensuring a much safer experience!
Lucky moms in your area get to be the first to try out this great new service in the limited testing run! So if you are a current member, check out the posts in the Mommy Forum or B/S/T/F to learn more and sign up for this limited time pre-launch!
Not a member of one of our communities? ANY mom is welcome to join us and membership is ALWAYS FREE! Visit us at www.themommiesnetwork.org to join these or any of our other 75 local chapters! No chapter in your area? No problem! Our National Chapter is available for moms across the country!
Join us and thanks to jumblzar for including us in this exciting, exclusive event!
Lucky moms in your area get to be the first to try out this great new service in the limited testing run! So if you are a current member, check out the posts in the Mommy Forum or B/S/T/F to learn more and sign up for this limited time pre-launch!
Not a member of one of our communities? ANY mom is welcome to join us and membership is ALWAYS FREE! Visit us at www.themommiesnetwork.org to join these or any of our other 75 local chapters! No chapter in your area? No problem! Our National Chapter is available for moms across the country!
Join us and thanks to jumblzar for including us in this exciting, exclusive event!
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Show Support for a Family within our Community!
Makayla will be admitted this Friday, April 12th, for brain surgery, she has endured so much at such a young age, no child should have to experience such a challenge. Please show your support with your donation as well as sharing this link. Thank you so much for your assistance. If you have questions or wish to donate off-line please email us at cmhuffm@gmail.com
Makayla, twin "B", is a surviving micro-preemie who was born with a class IV (worst possible) brain hemmorage at 25 weeks gestation. Makayla beat the odds and spent close to 6 months in NICU and has faced many surgeries and challenges over the years. She is now 7.5 years old with Cerebal Palsy and suffering from Ventriculoperitoneal Shunt malfunction. Makayla is currently suffering from daily headaches, vomiting, loss of appetite and sometimes lethargic. This is a result of intermittent shunt failure causing Ventriculomegaly and increased pressure on the brain which causes temporary function of the shunt.
Makayla, twin "B", is a surviving micro-preemie who was born with a class IV (worst possible) brain hemmorage at 25 weeks gestation. Makayla beat the odds and spent close to 6 months in NICU and has faced many surgeries and challenges over the years. She is now 7.5 years old with Cerebal Palsy and suffering from Ventriculoperitoneal Shunt malfunction. Makayla is currently suffering from daily headaches, vomiting, loss of appetite and sometimes lethargic. This is a result of intermittent shunt failure causing Ventriculomegaly and increased pressure on the brain which causes temporary function of the shunt.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Guest Blog Monday
The Two-Year Old
By Sara Dutilly
I have two kids: a two-year old and a four-month old.
Before I had them, I had no idea what it meant to be a mom.
From the outside, it seemed easy. I like to play. I like to be silly. I like to
color and go to storytime.
I knew there was more than fun to being a mom: discipline
and teaching, cleaning up spilled milk and other things we shouldn’t call by
name.
I didn’t know how much not-so-fun would show itself. I
didn’t know that newborns were so fragile. I didn’t anticipate crying being so
stressful, feeding being so painful, or two-year olds being so ornery.
Mostly, I didn’t anticipate that the mom transition would be
so shocking.
When my first child was born, I was suddenly consumed by the
most confusing, constant, and simultaneous love and frustration known to man.
You know- “Making the decision to have
a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside
your body.” Elizabeth Stone
What a cheesy, but accurate
thing to say.
No doubt fathers feel this
confusing love-frustration too, but somehow my husband is more able to cope
than I. This is no surprise; I have seen him relax through everything else. He
can bring wisdom and simplicity to the most complicated of situations. I am the
emotional one in our relationship—isn’t this our feminine duty? I am the one
who thinks to wash the dishes after dinner and bring the sippy cup to church,
and I am the one who cries when one of these is forgotten.
As I said, my oldest child is
two years old. I can hardly believe it, but while I think this thought I know that
many of you have kindergarteners and teenagers and are shaking your head at me
saying, “She doesn’t have a clue.”
You would be right; after two
years I still know very little about motherhood.
It’s the hardest job for a
reason. This job deals closely with the heart, with innocence, with emotion,
and this job changes every single day.
So I say again, with
confidence, that after two whole years at this, I still know very little about
how to be a mom.
Love is always the answer
though, wouldn’t you say?
Why is my baby crying?
Why am I crying?
What does my child want?
What does my child need?
What is my child doing?
What should I make for
dinner?
How do I tell my husband
about my long, crazy day?
How can I possibly be a wife
and a mother at the same time?
Love. Love. Love. Love. Love.
Love. Love. Love.
Love is the answer. Todd
Rundgren knew it. John Lennon and Jack Johnson knew it…. know it.
It’s easy now to write about
how love is the answer. Right now, both of my children are sleeping angels.
Tomorrow morning, they will be crying, clingy, needy frustrations.
In the middle of craziness,
when it’s difficult to show love, I have found that it helps to give myself the
same benefit of the doubt that I know my young son desires. When I get stressed
out or love-frustrated, I remind myself that I am only a two-year old mother,
and thus a two-year old. This makes me feel better because most days I do feel
like a two-year old. I am learning to walk life with a child (more accurately,
two children), and to speak in a new language. I trip. I fall. I fail to
communicate accurately. I have tantrums. I beg for brownies.
In those moments of craziness, I tell myself, “It will be
okay,” and I know it’s true because if my two-year old has learned to walk, to
build towers, and to recognize treats when they arrive, then so can I.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Guest Blog Monday!
To K or not to K . . . that can be a big question!
By guest blogger Carol P., staff 1st Lutheran School
for Young Children, Greensboro
I teach a class for 4 year
old preschoolers and this is definitely one of the most common questions we get
from our parents. So here are some of
the considerations my associate and I like to pass along in regard to those
later birthdates and kindergarten readiness.
When trying to make that decision, it is important to think about how
this may affect your child not only next year but at other stages of their
educational journey as well . . .
v If you’re
happy and you know it ~~ Being educators,
we want to see children love school
and the adventures of learning. And when
you send a little child into the structure of kindergarten too early, school
can quickly change from a delightful experience that they enjoy to drudgery
that they dread – especially in today’s school environment, where the stresses
on both teacher and student are many and the children are feeling the weight of
that stress earlier and earlier!
v Follow the
leader ~~ When your child is one of
the youngest in the class there is more of a tendency for them to be a
“follower” rather than a leader. On the other hand, when a child is given that
extra year to grow in both maturity and skill, they will not only be some of
the older children in their class but
will also have gained both experience and
confidence that make them much more ready leaders among their peers!
v Good,
better, best ~~ Also, it is important
to keep in mind that when your child begins as one of the youngest in the
class, they will always be one of the
youngest in the class. This may show
itself academically (always more of a
push to keep up) and/or emotionally
or socially. For example, the homework
load in even the earliest grades can be quite intense – which is creating a
great deal of stress for lots of
children and their parents! And the younger the child, the harder it is
to complete a full day of school and then come home and have that much more work to do when what they are really ready (and need!) to do is
relax and play!
Then,
let’s look on down the road a bit.
Consider how early children transition to middle school today – 6th
grade! This can be quite stressful for
even the “older” children but I’ve had parents tell me that this level of
change was almost an “undoing” for their younger child! Another of my former parents is a high school
football coach. He told me, “I don’t
care if my sons end up playing sports or not.
But I do know if I send him on now (he had a summer birthday) and he
wants to do sports he will always be
competing for a spot on a team with kids that are almost a year older and
that’s tough!”
These
are just a few examples, but the point is that if your child begins school at a
younger age, that can continue to
have an impact on them for their entire school experience. A parent recently told me, “My child did ‘ok’
but I realized once they reached high school they could have done SO much better had they been a
little older and more mature.” I’ve also
had parents tell me that they were sent
too early themselves and, as a result, want to provide a better, stronger, and
more positive experience for their own children.
v The gift
that keeps on giving! ~~ I’ve been doing this job for quite a while now and
the only regrets I’ve ever heard
expressed in this area were from parents that wished they’d taken that extra
year! At the same time, I can’t even tell
you how many times we’ve been told by an “extra year” parent, “That was the
best thing I ever did for my child!” When you choose to add a “Pre-K” or “T-K”
year to your child’s educational experience don’t think of it as “holding them
back”. You are giving them something – the wonderful gift of time! And with that time they can grow and mature, gain
skill and confidence, and – we pass this way but once! –just enjoy the experience of being five! These are awesome gifts to give a child and
they can keep on giving for a long, long time!
P.S.
I’ve been teaching 4’s for almost 20 years and still ABSOLUTELY love my
job! My teaching associate and I are
both so thankful to be able to spend our mornings in the delightful world of a
4 year old. Higher pay? Who would say no to that?!? Higher job satisfaction? Don’t think it’s possible! It truly is a joy!
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